My Boyfriend Tries Too Hard to Be Funny
If you want to be more socially adept and seem very natural at it, one of the things you'll need to do is to stop trying too hard to be liked, cool, or funny. These are characteristics of a socially adept person, yes, but other people will be able to easily see right through you if you try so hard being these things. It's always way better if you're able to do this naturally.
With that in mind, your goal should be to become liked, cool, and funny naturally. Actually learn these qualities and what they mean. Don't bother trying hard to be liked, cool, or funny, work hard to actually become liked, cool, or funny very naturally instead. With these tips, you can do just that.
Just relax
First things first. For you to stop trying too hard to be liked, cool, or funny, you'll need to remind yourself to relax from here on out. Take it easy. Relax your body and mind before we move forward.
This advice should be very useful for you because people who try hard to be liked, to be cool, and to be funny tend to be very tense. They tense up physically and they tend to overthink and be overly critical of their actions. For now, learn to relax and just take it easy. From now on, you'll never try to be someone you're not. You'll just employ new personalities and make them your own, thus evolving yourself as a social person.
Observe others you deem liked, cool, and funny
Your goal to become more liked, cool, and funny is so you could ultimately become a better person socially. One of the things you can and should do for this is to constantly surround yourself with socially adept individuals. Go to social gatherings frequently. Attend events at parties. While at these events, you're sure to come across individuals you'll surely deem liked, cool, and funny. When you do, observe these people intently.
See how they compose themselves around other people. See how they talk to others and how they move. These things can be very minor but you'll need to watch this with an academic eye. You should also remember that you're observing these people not so you could try to be more like them but so that you can know how you can be more liked, cool, and funny without trying to be someone else. You'll need to absorb those traits and make them your own, not pretend to be someone else.
Focus outwardly instead of inwardly
When around other people, it greatly helps to think outwardly instead of inwardly if you want to appear naturally cool and confident. What this means is that your focus should be towards the people you're interacting with. Don't linger in your own head when you're around other people. Don't be too bothered by yourself. Stop trying to think of things to say before the conversation even begins and stop trying to think of the things you should do before any situation even arises.
Focus on the people around you. That will allow you to be more attentive towards them. This will help you become a better listener and more empathetic. You'll resonate with others better and they'll genuinely enjoy your company. Your response will be more snappy and sensible. You'll be more liked by those you'll interact with and you'll appear naturally cool as well.
Talk to strangers as you would to your friends
If you treat any stranger as if they were your friends already, you'll definitely act more naturally and relaxed around them. This is one thing you can do to trick your mind to be more calm and cool around other people. Just see everyone as if you've known them for a while already. This will also help you be friendlier with them and they'll see your approach as warm and likable.
Of course, you should still observe boundaries and limitations. Although you should treat them and talk to them as if you've been friends with them for some time, you still shouldn't forget that you're just a stranger in their eyes. Maintain and respect their boundaries while being so friendly with them, they'll feel as if they've known you for a while already.
Embrace your personality
Since your goal is to be more yourself and stop trying too hard to be liked, cool, or funny, it will serve you well to embrace your personality. Learn to appreciate yourself and love the person you are. Know what your strengths are and learn how to take advantage of them. Know what your weaknesses are so you can hone them, or avoid them altogether.
For example, if you know you're decent at giving advice to other people, then make use of that. Whenever someone is in need of uplifting words, step into the fold and use your words to lift them up. If you know you're capable of making people laugh naturally, hone that part of you. Know yourself and appreciate your strengths. Embrace your personality. This will actively transform you into a more positive person which will be felt by those around you.
Learn how to construct and tell jokes
The ability to make other people laugh is something that comes naturally to some people. Others, however, need to learn it for themselves. If you belong in the latter group, then you have nothing to worry about. It can be learned and that's what you should focus on.
Just know that this is something that requires time and effort. Don't try to be funnier overnight. Don't put on a facade and wear someone else's personality just so you can be funnier. Actually learn this ability so you yourself can learn to become funnier without having the need to try. Eventually, being funny is going to be as simple as breathing to you.
One of the things you can do to practice this is to watch a lot of stand-up comedians. These people are professional joke-tellers and you can learn a lot just by watching and listening to them. See how they construct their jokes and how they build-up to their punchlines. See how they take personal experiences and how they add anecdotes and other details to make recounting those experiences funnier. Most importantly, see how they move and speak in front of their audience. How they carry themselves. Body language is important and watching these stand-up comedians will allow you to appreciate this fact.
Be more approachable
You'll infinitely be more well-liked by those around you if you can look and seem more approachable. Become a source of warmth and a beacon of light to those around you and you'll never have to worry about "being liked" again. It will be something that will happen to you very naturally.
There are many things you can do to be more approachable. One of the simplest ones is to simply wear a smile whenever someone's glance comes your way. Always keep in mind to smile at others. This is a very simple thing to do but it is very effective at making you appear more approachable.
You might also want to be mindful of your body language. Make sure you always appear positive and confident. Avoid slouching at all times and avoid appearing confined and defensive. Keep your body relaxed, your head up, and your mouth smile-ready.
Always be polite to everyone you meet
It won't hurt to be polite to other people. In fact, you have the ability to make someone's day better just by being polite to them. A simple deed from you could be a day-changer for someone else. This said, always be polite to everyone you meet. Aside from the positive thing this can bring to the people you encounter, which is the most important thing here, it will also help you in your goal to stop trying too hard to be liked, cool, or funny.
Politeness is a trait of a socially adept person and you should keep that in mind if you're keen on being more socially adept. As mentioned in the previous point, a smile can go a long way. You can most certainly begin with that. Say please and thank you whenever necessary. Open the doors for people. Don't shut the elevator doors on them. Do courteous things such as those mentioned and you'll never need to try too hard to be liked, cool, or funny ever again.
Look good to feel good
This will help you in your confidence and self-esteem, which will ultimately help you stop trying too hard to be liked, cool, or funny. As the popular saying goes–if you look good, you feel good. With that in mind, do your best to look as good as you can all the time. It will most definitely help you in how you carry yourself, whether alone or with other people.
Be as neat as you can be. Make sure to have proper hygiene all the time. Be as best dressed as you can be. Ask for advice and help if fashion isn't one of your strong suits. Look good to feel good and you'll definitely appear confident, reliable, and cool. This will also help you appear more approachable, which is also useful in your end goal here.
Get used to speaking in front of many people
It's easy to keep your "cool" when you're interacting with just one person. It's even easier to do so when that person is someone you know. If you really want to be naturally "cool" without trying too hard, you'll need to get used to the idea of speaking in front of many people.
Don't be too bothered when the crowd gets too big. Welcome it, even. See this as an opportunity to be a better social person and to have more listeners and opportunities for friendship. Remember, none of those individuals will judge you from the get-go. It's how you'll act, move, and speak moving forward that will ultimately matter here.
Don't think of big crowds as overwhelming. Continue to focus outwardly and know that each of those humans is just like you. They come with their own strengths and weaknesses and they're fighting their own battles. Be empathetic with all of them. Focus on them individually instead of seeing the whole group as a clump.
Never lose your temper when faced with tough situations
This one is very important. While you interact with more and more people, not every single one of those interactions is going to be smooth sailing. You'll oftentimes encounter people who are admittedly hard to deal with. You'll meet people who are strong in their convictions and will do their best to enforce their thoughts and opinions on you, whether you like it or not. When happenings such as this happen, never lose your cool and definitely don't let your temper go hot red.
Always keep a steady mind and remain polite and empathetic. Another person may be causing the tough situation but those around you will still be able to observe how you'll handle it. Be the bigger person and keep your cool. If things escalate to aggression, don't meet it with an equal or higher aggression. Be the pacifier of the situation. Those around you will admire you for your cadence.
Improve Your Social Skills To Be More Liked, Cool, and Funny
The ultimate best thing you can do for yourself if you want to stop trying too hard to be liked, cool, or funny is to simply improve your overall social skills. The more adept you are at socializing, the more natural you'll seem in acting around other people.
There's more to being a socially adept person than just being liked, cool, and funny, of course. There are so many more characteristics you'll need to learn and employ. On this site, you'll find a lot of skills to learn that will help you improve socially. It will also help you in your personal life as having great social skills can also affect your overall mood, career, and overall quality of life.
For as long as your social skills are well-maintained, you'll never have to worry about trying to hard about anything. Everything will come naturally.
Source: https://getthefriendsyouwant.com/stop-trying-too-hard/
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